Nobody likes conflict,
… any more than they like going to the dentist with a toothache. But afterwards the feeling is wonderful! When a conflict is resolved, you feel liberated. You have learned something new about the opposite side. And you have learned something new about yourself. You have successfully uncovered the various interests, identified the motives, desires, feelings and objectives, and reached a sustainable arrangement for the future. You may also have simply made a decision for yourself and communicated it appropriately – with clarity and understanding.
There are times when I help a client in one-on-one coaching sessions to resolve an existing conflict; taking another’s perspective can work wonders in this case.
There are times when I am brought in to mediate between the parties. In this case, I begin by having individual talks with everyone concerned before bringing the parties to the table. My clear mediation process in such sessions makes people feel secure and the parties often find a joint solution to their conflict at this point. In some cases, it may require further rounds of individual talks to explore the various options; conflict resolution is always about negotiation. What do I want and at what price? What is necessary here is finding a truly sustainable solution that meets the various interests of the parties involved.
Such a win-win solution is not always possible, but it is always my objective. To see the noticeable change in groups when a long-smoldering conflict has been resolved is incredibly liberating.